One of my biggest challenges this year has been keeping my post-lunch class in line.

I call one of my students in that class the Perfume Pyromaniac. As the name suggests, she once doused her hand in perfume and set it on fire.

In class.

(Fortunately, not my class.)

The Perfume Pyromaniac made catty comments, called out during lecture constantly, and drew as much attention to herself as possible. I bribed, wheedled, cajoled, and eventually started kicking her out and sending her to the other 7th grade pre-algebra class the first time her behavior prevented me from teaching. I was pretty sure that the way to reach her was by showering her with attention, and she was winning every day that I continued to fight with her. So, Perfume Pyromaniac spent a solid week and a half getting kicked out in the first few minutes of the class (the first few minutes that she deigned to show up for)... but when she was in class, I positive-narrated the heck out of her.

I started to see small changes.

She started coming in five minutes late instead of ten minutes late, and she made it a few minutes longer without getting kicked out.

She started coming in a minute after the bell, out of breath. (Hey! She was running to class!)

One day, she made it through an entire class. Granted, her head was on her desk, but she was only calling out every 5 or so minutes, rather than every 30 seconds, and she would stop after one hand gesture.

The following day, she was 30 seconds late to class, showed up out of breath, and asked for a pencil and paper. She solved the Do Now along with the rest of the class and made it through the first slide of new material before putting her head down.

Progress. That was three more minutes of engagement than I had gotten the previous day.

I spoke with her during the independent practice and told her that I was so excited to see her participating during the first part of class. She lit up. I asked her if she could commit to paying attention for just a little bit longer the following day... could she stay on track during the Do Now and during the first half of the new material? She agreed... and smiled! We're only a few days into the new-and-improved Pyromaniac, and I'm loving it.

Today, I was scanning the results from the district benchmark in the office, and she was sitting there as well. One of her friends was complaining about his math teacher, and you know what my Perfume Pyromaniac said? "You should switch to Ms. A's class; you'd like her."

20%

I'm officially over 1/5th of the way through my first school year as a real teacher.

Wow.

October is supposed to be the hardest month for first year teachers.

I'm hanging in there.

Behavioral issues are either going away entirely or getting magnified. At the beginning of the year, there were about eight students in my last period class who never stopped talking and/or talking back. Now, I'm down to two students who are off-task... but these students' behaviors are worse than they were at the beginning of the year. (On second thought, no, their behavior is not worse; it's just more visible now that fewer students are talking.) On the plus side, I've also gotten some (unprompted!) apology notes from students who realized that their behavior was preventing them from getting good grades. About ten of my previously underperforming students have really stepped up in the past week and are putting in ten times the amount of effort that they were in the first unit.

I'm so proud of my kids.

Yes, scores are low. Yes, some of my kids don't know how to multiply. However, every kid in my class wants to be in school. They don't storm out of class. They get upset when I send them to another teacher's room to complete a think sheet.

They're learning. I'm learning, too. I'll be honest: I wanted to cry and hit my head against a wall after grading the one-step equations quiz. It's just not that hard. The mean was around a 55-60% in four of my classes. I thought about reteaching one-step equations but decided to remediate as I taught two-step equations. I knew that if I taught two-step equations well and if my students paid attention, one-step equations would come naturally. The scores on the two-step equations quiz were higher in every class except for my honors class. I bet all of my classes will hit 80% mastery of one-step equations on the unit exam and maybe 80% mastery of two-step equations.

Did I mention that I'm proud of my kids? They're really, really putting in effort. Some of my kids are giving impromptu lectures to other students in class about how it's distracting when others whisper and why other students should turn in their homework.

A lot of my students are struggling, but I see them working independently now. The students who whispered and doodled during the first and second units are asking questions. They're raising their hands. They're asking to solve problems on the board.

Some days, it's hard to remember this. My students aren't perfect. I'm definitely not perfect. (I'm a first year teacher! I'm might be TFA Model 2.0 with my 3 years of TAing, but I've never been responsible for entire classes by myself!)

We're taking small steps every week. Nothing drastic. But a few small steps every day for 180 days? That's a lot of small steps.

Just when you're not sure if it's worth it...

I haven't updated recently because life just hasn't been going especially well. Teaching is the easy part of my life, if that tells you anything. I do have updates coming as soon as I have a more stable internet connection... well, once life gets more stable.

My lesson plan today was not good. In retrospect, I should have spent a full day on addition and a full day on subtraction instead of cramming everything together, and I'm going to have to spend that extra day remediating what I taught badly. Despite this, when I checked in on one of my students during partner practice, he looked up at me, smiled a little, and said, "I think I'm actually getting better in math this year." I gave him a handshake/high-five. :) When I called his mom to tell her what he had said, she told me that he has never had a grade this high in math and that he has never been motivated to work hard in math. Both of us are hoping to encourage him to come in to tutoring at least once a week so that he can stay on top of his work.

Yes, sharing a studio with two others is worth it... even though I'm typing this in a closet (the only place where I can steal internet from neighbors), and even though I've been sleeping on air mattresses and couches for six weeks. I love these kids.

What We Learned

One of biggest critiques of TFA is that corps members learn on students.

We do. (Student teachers do, too.)

Fortunately, the middle schools at my Institute site run enrichment programs over the summer, which means that students are previewing material that they'll see the following academic year. I really appreciated this model because it prepared us a little bit more for the learning curve we'll see when we start teaching during the school year. Summer school was also low-key and low-pressure for the students; they knew that if they struggled with a concept, they would see it again in a few months. I was going to say that the pressure was lower for us, too, but I'm not sure that's accurate because we were being observed constantly by CMAs (corps member advisors), our SDs (school directors). other CMs (corps members), and whomever decided to drop by the school that day. (The director of Institute visited my classroom! I got accolades on my lesson plans, but she was not too impressed with the fact that my INM lasted 25 minutes. Oops.)

I'm not sure whether the teachers or the students learned more this summer.

- I learned the most from video feedback. Until last year, I really struggled with talking too quickly and not enunciating well. After a year in Germany, I've gone too far in the other direction: I talk way too slowly and pause way too frequently.

- My students learned exponent rules and why they are the way they are. They really liked exponents, and they rocked that unit. They weren't pleased when I taught them the rules after making them show all of the work the long way, but I think that's for the best: now they know why the rules work!

- I learned that I'm really, really good at writing lesson plans (the director said I wrote the best LPs that she had seen at Institute!) and that I'm good at presenting content at an appropriate level.

- My students learned about malleable intelligence, and they were really motivated by the phrase "get wrinkly brains."

- I learned that I'm not very good at investing students. In fact, I can be downright boring when I talk too slowly. Several people commented that my students were more invested in me than in the material.

- My students learned one-step equations. (100% mastery of one-step equations with multiplication!) They still struggle with two-step equations (they learned two-step equations the same day I introduced one-step equations), but they understand the concept behind one-step equations.

- I learned that students work really, really hard on problems when you jazz up a worksheet. Give them a marker and call it math art... turn a worksheet into a detective story... write questions on construction paper and post them around the room... students do the exact same work (probably more work because they're happy!), and they like it a lot more! :)

- My students learned that being good at math is something you should celebrate! One of the girls wrote: "I learned that I am really smart and shouldn't hide it just show anybody." Even though the grammar is a bit lacking, that's a powerful statement from a 12-year-old girl, especially considering that she was talking about math class. This is the age where girls start to fall behind boys in math, and I hope both of the Ms continue to rock it. (I hope the guys continue to rock it, too, of course.)

My students were incredible. I wish I could teach five classes of identical students. The class changed a few times-- students started late; others left for vacation after a few weeks-- and I ended up with a class of 2 girls and 9 guys. They were funny, smart, insightful, and all-around great kids. We did an activity where they had to write one suggestion for changing their school, their community, and the world, and at the end, they had to write one way they could "be the change" in their classroom.

I'll be the first to say that we didn't make it to long-term transformational change this summer, but there was some great stuff happening in the room. We had a safe and supportive classroom. If a student answered a question incorrectly, I never worried that another student would make fun of him or her. Students asked each other questions, and they were expected to listen to each other's answers. Every person contributed to the physical classroom, which also made them respect the room. Students designed the welcome sign; teachers made posters. Class was fun, and the activities supported their work! Almost all of the students made dramatic academic growth (almost 50% higher than last year's average!).

Good times.

Also, I just have to say that TFA made me an immensely better teacher. It did. 5 weeks made more of a difference than 9 months of mentoring at My Gymnasium and 4 semesters of UAing with a faculty mentor. There is a lot to criticize about the training model, but I don't see how I'm doing worse than any other 1st year teacher at this point. (When my department chair peeked in, I apparently was holding up a stopwatch and telling my students to Do It Again.) More to come about week #1 in my new full-time position...

Survived Institute!

I wish I had a catchier title, but I guess this one will do.

We finished Institute about a week ago and moved back to our regions to prepare for the upcoming school year-- ahhhh!

So how did Institute work? I had 90 minutes of lead teaching and an hour of co-teaching every day, which means that over the course of Institute, I led-taught the equivalent of a week and a half in the 'real' teaching world. All of my kids were at grade level or above in math. My kids were awesome, adorable, and brilliant, and I miss them very much, but they probably weren't the best models to learn on. (On the other hand, a challenging class might have thrown me over the edge with the lack of sleep, so it might have worked out for the best.)

My class reached 92% of their growth goal, and the average growth from last year was only 63%! Could it have been higher? Oh yeah, but they went a 48% on the pre-assessment to a 74% on the post-assessment in 18 days. They hit 82% mastery of negative powers (pre-assessment score: 0%), and I was most proud of their 100% mastery of one-step equations involving multiplying and dividing integers. (I *cough* cried *cough* after teaching that objective.) Did I secretly want the highest growth of my school? Yes, of course-- I got into TFA; I am incredibly competitive-- but my kids rocked it, and I don't think anyone has any regrets.

Well, that's not entirely true: I do regret not asking for more help. In terms of seeking out additional resources, I think I did as much as I possibly could have, given my time constraints... I went to 2-3 workshops every week, visited the resource center a few times, and asked CMs and CMAs what had worked or hadn't worked in their rooms. My CMA wrote one AIT plan for me and gave me word problems for quite a few objectives because there was no way I was going to have time to write 60 word problems over the course of a weekend. However, I could have used a lot more help with writing problems for INM, GP, and IP (I had to write my own exit slips). I was allowed to ask other CMs for lesson plans toward the end of Institute, but it just so happened that most of my last objectives were the first objectives that the other CMs had taught. (In other words, the first LPs are uniformly pretty awful, and the only things I could take from them were problems.) (There were three other CMs at my school without partners, BUT someone provided them with the additional LPs. I was not amused when I heard this.)

The benefit to planning and teaching a double block is that I definitely got to hone my skill in writing lesson plans. While the others were working on CFUs, I was working on writing CFUs for particular students. While they were making sure their exit slips were aligned, I was scaffolding my exit slips so I knew to what extent the students had mastered the objective. (The same material that other CMs got at a recent "rigor in mathematics" discussion was material that I got during the third week of Institute. I still have a long way to go in pushing the rigor during instruction and on assessments, but I actually tend to overdo the conceptual material and forget to leave time for students to work on the procedural part. Most CMs privilege procedural knowledge over conceptual. This might be the English major in me coming out.)

The downsides to planning and teaching a double block at Institute? You don't sleep, and you don't get to take days off. When everyone else had TFA (Totally Free Afternoon) Day, I was in a workroom writing two lesson plans. My CMA tried to give me a bedtime at the beginning of Institute, but let's face it: if everyone else is up until 11 PM working on one lesson plan, I'm not going to be in bed by midnight. I worked every day of Institute until the last weekend, when my CMA forced me to take a day off after I cried for about an hour and a half at school. (An IL leader who shall remain anonymous told me that I should drink more beer and do yoga to relax.) Was that day off refreshing? Yes. Was I up until 2 AM on Sunday night/Monday morning to compensate? Yes. (Just for the record, even with that meltdown, I cried less than pretty much everyone else at Institute.)

I'd go through Institute again... but only with a normal workload. But hey, I survived, and I'm more prepared because of it.

According to my students...

My math kiddos recently filled out a classroom culture survey, and here is what they had to say (grammar and spelling left intact):

What has your teacher done to help you behave?
- She motivates us
- My teacher has made us to be silent by counting 5-0.
- She has taught us to respect, raise our hand.
- Ms. (A) has taught us to respect others when they are speaking.
- She has givin us warnings of how to behave and told us of what the conquences of not behaving
- Class Room Rules
- tell me how to behave
- She gives us rules.
- giving us warnings
- She has put a rule list on a poster.

I believe I can and will achieve the goal for this class. -- Can you explain your answer? Why did you select that response?
- because I want to pass this class to move on
- I selected this response because I know I could do a great job at math.
- I chose that answer because she helps us a lot.
- I believe I can achieve my goal for this class with confidence.
- I believe I can achieve the goal because my family pushes us hard enough to get a good career and future
- Because I know what I want to be.

If you do enjoy coming to class, what has this teacher done to make you feel that way?
- because she encourages us
- I enjoy coming because I enjoy math.
- She make class fun and we enjoy it.
- Fun educational activities.
- She has made it funn and cool than the other classes
- Because it is really fun in this class and etc.
- I enjoy math alot.
- I like it cause it helps me learn But fun.
- She makes math fun.
- Giving me College Bound Bucks.
- the teaching is fun

How do you know whether or not this teacher truly cares about you?
- because she is always taking care of you
- I know because my teacher wants me to be very smart.
- She is equal to us all.
- Go's over lessons slowly an carefully.
- I know because they give you a nice and good attitude and like you know because they are trying hard enough to help you learn
- She helps me in my work.
- They always check up on us.
- Because I just do.
- She goes through things slowly, and step by step
- You could see that smile on their face.
- she helps explain things better
(Editorial comment: not sure why they're talking about me in the plural. ELL quirk?)

Optional: Please use this extra space to complete any answers to questions or to share more thoughts or feelings you have about this class or this teacher.
- Ms (A) you are a good and awesome teacher I meet during the summer. :)
- Hi!! :D
- I really like math.
- :D Hello!!
- Hello! :)

Bye, Berlin... Hello, TFA!

As you might have figured out from the title, I am no longer in Germany; I left a little early so I could attend Induction and Institute for TFA.

I used to think that people over-exaggerated the difficulty of Institute. Boot camp for teachers? Ha. In college, I took 20 hours one semester, UAed for a class that I hadn't taken (which meant that I was essentially taking 23 hours), coached and judged gymnastics, and tried to get in shape for Nationals. The typical Institute schedule is much easier. For everyone on the standard schedule, life at Institute is very doable. A lot of people would want to smack me for writing that, but there's a reason that I'm saying this.

My summer school site put us in collabs that consist of two pairs. A pair consists of two people who are teaching the same grade, more or less the same subject, and the same group of kids. At my school site, most pairs share a classroom with another pair in their same subject area, but they share a group of kids with a pair in a different subject. (Basically, 4 pairs end up intertwined based on room assignments and students.) However, I only share students and a room with an English pair.

It seemed to be working out really well until my partner quit on the second day.

When I hear one more person whine about assignments that are due the following day, I try not to laugh or roll my eyes. Not only do CMs have more or less the same schedule, but a handful of lucky people like me are prepping and teaching double the number of lessons because their partner quit.

You think Institute has a bad rap? Multiply it by two. The others prep and teach five lessons each week, and they split AIT lessons with their subject partner; lucky people like me prep and teach nine to ten full lessons and write 10 AIT lessons/week.

TFA really needs to have some sort of a system worked out for this situation because it happens every year. (Plus, it's not exactly fair to make CMs do extra work just because they got a bad collab partner.) Even training CMAs would help! My CMA's partner also quit, so she knew how to handle my situation, but I've heard that other CMAs have been less than helpful. But... well, there isn't a system, and this happens every year. My CMA-- Corps Member Advisor-- is going to write half of my AIT lessons because I just can't write 10 more mini-lessons each week on top of my 9-10 regular lessons, and my faculty mentor is going to step in once a week for one lesson so I can observe other classes. All of this is great and greatly appreciated, but the workload is intense, even for a person with my time management skills. I put in 90-100 hours of work this week, and it's going to stay at that level for the rest of Institute. I may have to prep 10 lessons/week next year, but I doubt that I'll have to formally prep AITs. It will definitely help me next year, though-- by now, I think I LP faster than everyone else in my group.

On the plus side, I got my kit with teacher's supplies and a pad of chart paper, and I'm pretty sure my group has the nicest classroom in the school. LMU's campus is also amazingly beautiful. (It even smells good!)

I met my students on Wednesday, and I love them to death. They are sweet, adorable, and excited to learn. Once I have a little more time, I'll definitely brag about my wonderful kiddies (er, tweens). As it is, I need to sleep so I can crank out 4 lesson plans and 5 mini-lessons tomorrow.

Welcome to my life as a teacher.

(Also, I still have about 5 Fulbright-related posts in the works, but they'll have to wait until Institute is over!)

A Summary of the Past Few Days...

Went to bed late. Woke up way too early. Tiptoed around. Knocked over stuff in kitchen. Oops. U-Bahn. Bus. Tegel no haz security. Sat on runway for four hours. Got to Munich four hours late. Smiled sweetly at employee and got both flights rescheduled. Oh, wait, my new flight boarded 15 minutes ago. Ran to new gate. Got two seats to myself!!!!! Studied. Slept. BART. Oakland. Hug from stranger? Don't know names.

Figured out names. Slept on couch. Woke up early. Went to school. Helped to prep classroom. Went back to apartment. Shower! Cafe. Pretended to study. Arizmendi Bakery! Yum, pizza. Walked around Lake Merritt. Sun! No ear muffs needed! Woo! CVS. Apartment. Studied. Mini nap. TFA Meet and Greet. Stood around awkwardly, tried not to fall asleep. Must eat food. Went to food court at restaurant. A vegan restaurant!? Yay! Mario Kart. Lost badly. Early to bed.

Woke up early. Played Mario Kart. Nap. Studied. Ready for test? Checked bag once, twice, then a third time. BART. MUNI? Oops, MUNI bus, not MUNI subway. Out of change. Grrrr. New ticket. Board MUNI bus. Sit. Wait. Pretend to study. Check in. Someone brought the wrong calculator? CSET time. Subtest II. Brain hurts. Where's the bathroom pass? Why is the free response so much easier than multiple choice? Subtest I. Much easier than Subtest II! Back to Oakland. Totally won at Wii Frisbee Golf. Fell asleep on couch while the others went to a club. (Such is my life.)

Loud people back at 4 AM. Dancing in kitchen. Devouring chocolate. L is dancing with boiling water? Hope the neighbors like Phantom of the Opera. Taboo! L tells me to wear stilettos and a suit while teaching next year. Others went to bed. I played Mario Kart.

Nap. Mario Kart. Nap. Check email. Mario Kart. Shower. Sun! Sconehenge. Mmmm @ the Mexican veggie omelette. Berkeley is lovely! Sat in sun! Mario Kart. More sun! Pack. First run-in with new security scanner at SFO. Surprised they're not doing strip searches. Guy ahead of me gets the full pat-down, but I waltz through. (Young Asian women don't make people suspicious.) Sleep. Hit head on window. Sleep. Run to catch plane. Berlin! (Still no security at Tegel.)

Goodbye, sun. I miss you already.

Teaching Post-Miami: Part Two

I've hinted a few times that I returned to the US over fall break and had had a few interviews... and I'm happy to write that I just committed to Teach For America as a member of the 2011 corps!

I probably will not continue this blog once I start TFA because I'm totally identifiable (although there is at least one other Berlin Fulbrighter who is doing TFA next year!), but I do plan to write a few posts about the application process and other TFA-related thoughts between now and then. :)

The latest My Gymnasium story: I had another run-in with German bluntness today. I was sitting in the teacher's room, and a teacher whom I had never met or seen walked up to me. She said, "Oh, I recognize you from the website! But you're much prettier in person than I had expected from your picture." Um, thanks, I guess? It's better than being much uglier than my picture, right?

Edited to add another My Gymnasium story: on a test, a student declared that he is a "terist" and needs information about the most popular tourist attractions in New York. I might have to do a quick spelling and pronunciation lesson so that none of my students get detained if they ever visit the US...